Grieving - Page 4

IslandGirl · 10-08-2005, 07:08 PM

Blaze and Christi, thanks so much for sharing your beautiful stories. It really does help to hear that I'm not a freak for wanting my father back. Sometimes I accept that he is gone and other times I go through the disbelief. Like today for instance. I woke up and first thing I thought of doing was calling my dad to tell him that we might go to the state fair....then it dawned on me that I had been dreaming of him so therefore I felt he was still alive. Luckily, I had sewing classes this morning, and later on today, a good friend who I haven't spoken to in months, suddenly called to say she was thinking of me. It was wonderful to chat with her about my dad. Then I got a package from another friend. It was a book that was autographed by the author! What a lovely surprise. I felt very special to have these friends turn up suddenly with something that put a smile on my face. Each cared enough to keep up the communication. Unfortunately, some are staying far, far away. How sad for them to not want to take this walk with me. After all, they don't know when it might be their turn to grieve.

My mother was hospitalised last week. She's in Europe with my sister, and does have heart problems. Seems that the doctors here were over medicating her and they said the medication was becoming toxic (heart and blood pressure meds). This had weighed very heavily on my mind because I don't want to have to bury another parent just yet.

How precious life is and how short! A good reminder that we should stop and smell the roses before it's too late, huh?

gbranmtns · 10-18-2005, 08:32 AM

Yesterday, my dh and I were at my dad's house helping him put in a new front door (that's a whole different story), but I was out on the porch and my best friend's (The one who died last year, whose daughter died earlier this year she was like a little sis to me (the daughter)) former (? is that the right way to say this) husband and new wife live next door to my daddy. He and my friends lived there for as long as I can remember. Now his new wife has moved in with him. Everytime I saw them walk into that house, I felt sick to my stomach. It seems to bother me more than my dad remarrying and moving my new stepmom into our house. Does that even make sense? I just hated seeing that. I know I can't "do" anything about it, but it is so hard to see it. My parents live right next door and my bro-in-law and his family live two doors down from them. It's not like I can't help but see them and the house. I guess I can just keep praying that one of these days I will adjust to seeing them together and in that house. (My friend and her hubby had been together since they were 14 years old she was 47 years old when she died last year.

P.s. I know everybody knows that it is Breast Cancer awareness month, but I would like to inform you all (especially the women) it is also Lupus awareness month. I was reading that this disease will attack many between the ages of 15 to 45 and will kill more than half of those women. I encourage you to talk to your doctor about Lupus, it is one of the most diseases that are wrongly diagnosed.

Cheesecake · 10-18-2005, 09:46 AM

I remember going to visit my Grandfather, and my Grandma wasnt there, his new wife was............using all my Grandmother's kitchen utensils, and the furniture and the linens...........and I was devastated. It just seemed so crass...and I even imagined my Grandfather as a dirty old man, who HAD TO HAVE A WOMAN.

Well.........HE DID HAVE TO HAVE A WOMAN........and I understand that now.
He couldnt take care of himself, without someone there to lean on and clean and cook. Plain and simple...he was able to go out and earn a living but he had depended upon my Grandmother for all the OTHER things, for many many years, and when she was gone, HE WAS LOST.

I believe now that it was the GREATEST COMPLIMENT anyone could have paid my Sweet Grandmother.............Grandpa found another lady to take her place, cause she had done such a good job of spoiling him, he couldnt live without her,........

I was relieved after coming to that realization.
I hope you can come to some sort of peace about this, as it's really not your business, or mine, when our relatives go on with their lives.......it's not disrespectful, its natural.

Hugs to you, gbranmtns!

IslandGirl · 10-18-2005, 05:22 PM

My aunt once said that a woman grieves alone but a man grieves with a new wife. Do you find this to be true? I've found that there are more single ladies at church who lost their husbands, than there are single men who lost their wives

Those old goats need a woman's touch around the house. We ladies must really be the stronger sex

Cheesecake · 10-18-2005, 07:24 PM

After posting that really magnanimous post up there, I got to thinking about my GOLD JEWELRY and all those DIAMONDS..........my Fenton Art Glass, and.......my fine china.....and my Marie Osmond dolls, .......

Im going to go write a direct order in my trust, that when I die...the girls in the family get it immediately...the Truckinfarmer would never use it anyway

To the new wife I leave my ''hog slopping bucket''...............

Im only joking..................

IslandGirl · 10-18-2005, 10:02 PM

I should go write mine as well. In fact, ALL women need to leave their beautiful stuff to someone they love rather than the new wife

10-08-2005, 07:08 PM	#46
IslandGirl Ultra Member Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 873	Blaze and Christi, thanks so much for sharing your beautiful stories. It really does help to hear that I'm not a freak for wanting my father back. Sometimes I accept that he is gone and other times I go through the disbelief. Like today for instance. I woke up and first thing I thought of doing was calling my dad to tell him that we might go to the state fair....then it dawned on me that I had been dreaming of him so therefore I felt he was still alive. Luckily, I had sewing classes this morning, and later on today, a good friend who I haven't spoken to in months, suddenly called to say she was thinking of me. It was wonderful to chat with her about my dad. Then I got a package from another friend. It was a book that was autographed by the author! What a lovely surprise. I felt very special to have these friends turn up suddenly with something that put a smile on my face. Each cared enough to keep up the communication. Unfortunately, some are staying far, far away. How sad for them to not want to take this walk with me. After all, they don't know when it might be their turn to grieve. My mother was hospitalised last week. She's in Europe with my sister, and does have heart problems. Seems that the doctors here were over medicating her and they said the medication was becoming toxic (heart and blood pressure meds). This had weighed very heavily on my mind because I don't want to have to bury another parent just yet. How precious life is and how short! A good reminder that we should stop and smell the roses before it's too late, huh? __________________ Exodus 20:16 "Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbour." "Today after almost a century of trial, today after over a year of debate, today after all the votes have been tallied, health insurance reform becomes law in the United States of America. Today.

10-18-2005, 08:32 AM	#47
gbranmtns Super Ultra Member Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: TN Posts: 1,289	Yesterday, my dh and I were at my dad's house helping him put in a new front door (that's a whole different story), but I was out on the porch and my best friend's (The one who died last year, whose daughter died earlier this year she was like a little sis to me (the daughter)) former (? is that the right way to say this) husband and new wife live next door to my daddy. He and my friends lived there for as long as I can remember. Now his new wife has moved in with him. Everytime I saw them walk into that house, I felt sick to my stomach. It seems to bother me more than my dad remarrying and moving my new stepmom into our house. Does that even make sense? I just hated seeing that. I know I can't "do" anything about it, but it is so hard to see it. My parents live right next door and my bro-in-law and his family live two doors down from them. It's not like I can't help but see them and the house. I guess I can just keep praying that one of these days I will adjust to seeing them together and in that house. (My friend and her hubby had been together since they were 14 years old she was 47 years old when she died last year. P.s. I know everybody knows that it is Breast Cancer awareness month, but I would like to inform you all (especially the women) it is also Lupus awareness month. I was reading that this disease will attack many between the ages of 15 to 45 and will kill more than half of those women. I encourage you to talk to your doctor about Lupus, it is one of the most diseases that are wrongly diagnosed. __________________ Gina

10-18-2005, 05:22 PM	#49
IslandGirl Ultra Member Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 873	My aunt once said that a woman grieves alone but a man grieves with a new wife. Do you find this to be true? I've found that there are more single ladies at church who lost their husbands, than there are single men who lost their wives Those old goats need a woman's touch around the house. We ladies must really be the stronger sex __________________ Exodus 20:16 "Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbour." "Today after almost a century of trial, today after over a year of debate, today after all the votes have been tallied, health insurance reform becomes law in the United States of America. Today.

10-18-2005, 10:02 PM	#51
IslandGirl Ultra Member Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 873	I should go write mine as well. In fact, ALL women need to leave their beautiful stuff to someone they love rather than the new wife __________________ Exodus 20:16 "Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbour." "Today after almost a century of trial, today after over a year of debate, today after all the votes have been tallied, health insurance reform becomes law in the United States of America. Today.

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10-18-2005, 09:46 AM	#48
Cheesecake Moooooooo Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: USA Posts: 33,778	I remember going to visit my Grandfather, and my Grandma wasnt there, his new wife was............using all my Grandmother's kitchen utensils, and the furniture and the linens...........and I was devastated. It just seemed so crass...and I even imagined my Grandfather as a dirty old man, who HAD TO HAVE A WOMAN. Well.........HE DID HAVE TO HAVE A WOMAN........and I understand that now. He couldnt take care of himself, without someone there to lean on and clean and cook. Plain and simple...he was able to go out and earn a living but he had depended upon my Grandmother for all the OTHER things, for many many years, and when she was gone, HE WAS LOST. I believe now that it was the GREATEST COMPLIMENT anyone could have paid my Sweet Grandmother.............Grandpa found another lady to take her place, cause she had done such a good job of spoiling him, he couldnt live without her,........ I was relieved after coming to that realization. I hope you can come to some sort of peace about this, as it's really not your business, or mine, when our relatives go on with their lives.......it's not disrespectful, its natural. Hugs to you, gbranmtns!

10-18-2005, 07:24 PM	#50
Cheesecake Moooooooo Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: USA Posts: 33,778	After posting that really magnanimous post up there, I got to thinking about my GOLD JEWELRY and all those DIAMONDS..........my Fenton Art Glass, and.......my fine china.....and my Marie Osmond dolls, ....... Im going to go write a direct order in my trust, that when I die...the girls in the family get it immediately...the Truckinfarmer would never use it anyway To the new wife I leave my ''hog slopping bucket''............... Im only joking..................