Not Political Correct One Liners

[WingMan]

1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me, either. Just leave me the hell alone.
2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire.
3. It's always darkest before dawn, so if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.
4. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
5. No one is listening until you fart.
6. Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else.
7. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
8. It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a bad example.
9. It is far more impressive when others discover your good qualities without your help.
10. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
11. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile way and you have their shoes.
12. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
13. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish and he will sit in a boat & drink beer all day.
14. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
15. Don't squat with your spurs on.
16. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
17. Some days you are the bug, some days you are the windshield.
18. Don't worry, it only seems kinky the first time.
19. Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
20. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it in your pocket.
21. Timing has an awful lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.v
22. A closed mouth gathers no foot.
23. Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side & a dark side and it holds the universe together.
24. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.
25. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your mouth is moving.
26. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
27. Never miss a good chance to shut up.

[linron]

Good ones!
#16 Should be politically CORRECT!

[WingMan]

Originally Posted by linron

Good ones!
#16 Should be politically CORRECT!

This was from an E-Mail & I didn't check it very well. Good catch, thank you for pointing that out.

[linron]

Originally Posted by WingMan

This was from an E-Mail & I didn't check it very well. Good catch, thank you for pointing that out.

What I meant was WOULDN'T IT BE WONDEFFUL
IF
telling a lie WAS politically incorrect and unacceptable
and telling the TRUTH WAS
politically CORRECT and practiced by our leaders!!!
What a different world it could be!

[WingMan]

Originally Posted by linron

What I meant was WOULDN'T IT BE WONDEFFUL
IF
telling a lie WAS politically incorrect and unacceptable
and telling the TRUTH WAS
politically CORRECT and practiced by our leaders!!!
What a different world it could be!

Even the simple act of everyone attempting to follow the “Golden Rule” would make so much difference.

[revelladee]

#13...I know a man like that!

[SHOW GAL]

My personal favorite is # 24. Works at our house.