![]() |
#1 |
pumpkin
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Southeast Arkansas
Posts: 7,573
|
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() "Good." replied the husband, "Make sure she's well done." My mother-in-law's other car is a Broom! My mother-in-law said to me, "I'll dance on your grave." I said, "I hope you do. I'm being buried at sea." My mother-in-law is a well balanced person. She's got a chip on BOTH shoulders I have never made a fool of my mother-in-law, I just leave her to display her natural talents herself. My mother-in-law and I were happy for 20 years, Then we met each other. Last night the local peeping-tom knocked on my mother-in-laws' door, and asked her to shut her blinds. Behind every successful man stands a devoted wife and a surprised mother-in-law. Does it really surprise anyone that mother-in-law's Day occurs less than one week before Halloween? My mother-in-law was bitten by a dog yesterday. How is she now? She's fine, but the dog died. My mother-in-law asked me, "If you hate me so much, why is my photo on the mantle piece (shelf above the open fireplace)?" I told her, "So as to keep the kids away from the fire." I don't say my mother-in-law is ugly ... but round our way, the peeping toms are giving themselves up to the police. How many mothers-in-law does it take to change a light bulb? One. She just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve around her. One cannibal says to the other: "I can't stand my mother-in-law." The other says: "Why don't you just eat the vegetables?" I always know when it's the mother-in-law knocking at the door – the mice throw themselves in the traps. The doorbell rang this morning. When I opened the door, there was my mother-in-law on the front step. She said, "Can I stay here for a few days?" I said, "Sure you can." And shut the door . What's the difference between a mother-in-law and a vulture? The vulture waits 'til you are dead before it eats your heart out. Last week my wife and I went car shopping, and the salesman asked if I wanted a car with an Airbag. I said, "No thanks. I already have a mother-in-law." How are shotguns and mother-in-laws alike? If there is one around, you just want to shoot it! A pharmacist tell a customer. In order to buy arsenic you should need a legal prescription. A picture of your mother-in-law just isn't enough. Mother to daughter. Your boyfriend such a jerk that I would be delighted to be his mother-in-law. Adam and Eve were the happiest and the luckiest couple in the world, because neither of them had a mother-in-law. The lawyer cabled his client overseas: "Your mother-in-law passed away in her sleep. Shall we order burial, embalming or cremation?" Back came the reply, "Take no chances - order all three." ![]() ![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
#2 | |
Coolest Member!
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Near S-T-L
Posts: 152
|
Quote:
![]() ![]() |
|
![]() |
![]() |
#3 |
Here.
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Central MO
Posts: 816
|
Mine too.. lol
__________________
~Kathie~ |
![]() |
![]() |
#4 |
Ultra Member
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Oklahoma
Posts: 600
|
![]()
Thanks for the laugh Pumpkin! It was a great way to blow off some steam after the day I just had with my mother-in-law!
__________________
I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work. -Thomas Alva Edison |
![]() |
![]() |
#5 |
Tyler James is HERE!
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: Farnhamville, IA
Posts: 667
|
Thanks, these are GREAT!
|
![]() |
![]() |
#6 |
Member
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: El Dorado, AR
Posts: 74
|
![]() ![]() ![]() We've had our moments, but truly I'm really blessed with my MIL. |
![]() |
![]() |
#7 |
El Grando Branson Lover
Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: South Arkansas
Posts: 5,526
|
You should have titled this thread as "MONSTER IN LAWS" I was calling mine that way before the movie came out!! lol Mine is a PILL!!
![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
#8 |
pumpkin
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Southeast Arkansas
Posts: 7,573
|
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
Bookmarks |
Thread Tools | |
Display Modes | |
|
|
![]() |
||||
Thread | Thread Starter | Forum | Replies | Last Post |
They didn't listen to mother | IslandGirl | Just for Chit Chat | 2 | 05-15-2006 08:28 PM |
I Owe My Mother | Tanya | Just for Chit Chat | 2 | 03-22-2006 10:32 AM |
Quick jokes????? | JUDITH | Just for Chit Chat | 117 | 04-22-2003 08:45 AM |